3 days old: The meconium incident at Chuck’s place.
1 month old: Massive spit-up on 13th century Persian silk carpet.
3 months old: Pees through replica christening gown on to Archbishop of Canterbury, forced to change into a replica of the replica.
5 months old: Five teeth appear at the same time. Parents cross themselves and feed him a cheeseburger.
6 months old: Sits up by himself. Uses paternal grandmother’s favorite spectator hat as Bumbo seat.
7 months old: Learns to drink from a cup the night Harry babysits. A stein actually. Substance unclear.
8 months old: Discovers how to army crawl when Pippa loses sight of him in the Hall of Armor.
11 months old: First word is “YOLO” and not, as the magazines reported, “polo.”
12 months old: Still learning to wave, but successfully flips Camilla the bird.