Today is my younger son’s third birthday.
He is the king and I am the storyteller (and cook, feeder, bather, dresser). I have endured one thousand and ninety five nights of mostly bad sleep and, like Scheherazade, just want to live another day. My more elaborate survival plan involves the introduction to THE BIG BOY BED, which I believe will ultimately spare my life a second time, just as it did with his older brother.
The three year-old is not so much ‘in the crib’ as he is ‘in and out until he’s too tired to climb’ and what I’m trying to say is that the crib has run its course and with it, the nap.
We are at the Cliffs of Transition and just beyond is Buttercup. I mean, sleep.
Before I can display my maternal chutzpah in a grand display of bluffing and conniving, I must first (as written in children mail-order catalog by-laws) contemplate new decor for my son’s new room. For the second time in my life, I am about to enter the terrifying world of toddler duvets and canvas monogrammed bins.
Armed with a battalion of catalogs and a slew of websites, I discover the Colby Collection for the young airplane enthusiast! The Dryden Collection for the miniature paleontologist! And the Hunter Collection for the future mentally-unstable novelist who enjoys spending a night in the Overlook Hotel from The Shining! Oh, the beauty of the Three-Cubed Cubby! The magnanimous architecture of the Colton Dresser! The allure of themes and colors and rugs and wall-hangings culminating in a mass explosion of credit card debt at the altar of toddler worship! A shrine to my son and his ever-shifting interests and my supreme talent for pigeon-holing those interests into future careers!
New decor? Contemplated.
Now that I’ve checked that off the list, I can go ahead and give the three year-old his big brother’s old bedroom: a comforter that has been – and will be again – sacrificed to the gods of urine stains, a dresser, a hamper. I’m calling it The White-Collar Prison Collection, simple, contemporary, no hassle.
And it works well with the meal plan I’ve implemented.