911? There’s a fire and we’ll need your biggest.
Your shiniest. Your cherry-reddest.
The extra-long ladder truck, if possible.
With the water-rescue engine.
And an ambulance, for good measure.
Like adding lighter fluid to flames, you say?
Point taken.
The Chalupa could very well go ape-shit.
Possibly pushed to the point of frothing hysteria.
A potential recipe for a manic episode requiring the use of sedatives.
Which is obviously why we’ll need the paramedics.
Dumbass.
Now.
I have one request for sirens and horns
And a second for the strapping lads of Station House 19
To arrive shirtless.
Precious minutes can be saved -
Lives hang in the balance! -
By sticking to just pants and suspenders.
Except for the chief.
He should wear a shirt.
Our location?
Downtown, at the corner of – look Chalupa, here it comes!
(screaming, pointing, jumping, honking)
FAGON!
FAGON!
FAGON!
No, not you, Skinny-Jeans-Eyeliner dude.
Keep moving. The ACLU? Whatever. I dare you.
FAGON!
Yes. Behold.
The Fire Engine.
And this fire’s here to burn
For a good long time.
__________________________________
P.S. I just joined Twitter. Come find me! I’m lonely. I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t even know how to add the tweet symbol to this damn post. But it’s totally addicting. And it makes me feel dangerously young. Hip, even. Okay, hip is going a bit far. I’m @theflyingchlupa. Please note the misspelling of the word ‘chalupa.” It’s because some a-hole stole the name ‘theflyingchalupa.’ So I’m stuck with ‘theflyingchlupa.’ So NOT hip.
P.P.S. Judging from the comments below, I would like to clarify that while I appreciate handsome, shirtless firemen, the fagon obsession is my son’s. Honest. He eats, sleeps and breathes fire engine.
do firemen come any other way than shirtless? and glistening with baby oil and a mist of post-coital persperation?
***
per your ‘ps’- i added the tweet button to posts using tweet me. i did a search through wordpress plugins and found it that way but you could always go to the site (i think it’s tweetme.com) and add it to your blog
Please send your firemen my way! Stat!
And thank you so much for the tweet help. I’m so lame.
Hmm… I haven’t even seen fire men around here… just at the ghetto apartment complex up the street. They probably kept their shirts on.
Twitter is… not my favorite… but at least you feel hip!
hilarious! I have a fireman who lives next door…but he might be more of the chief variety if you catch my drift. Okay you just inspired me to join twitter (and I swore I never would, sigh) only because I didn’t want some bunghole to steal my name! ( @SheSuggests in case you were wondering)
Wow. I inspired someone to join Twitter? Oh, the power! Yeah, I swore I would never join as well.
firemen,,, puh-leez. we all know meat inspectors are where it’s at.
now….you can have your posts automatically go out as a tweet every time you post by going to twitterfeed.com. it is so easy. you set it up there and it’ll pull your posts automatically from your blog to twitter w/o you ever doing anything again after you set it up to do that.
and…just a thought…and don’t get embarrassed but any chance that it’s YOU that has the flying chalupa already? It’s possible, I’ve done that to myself, not that I’m proud of it…but maybe you entered/requested twice since your M.O. is push a button and say a prayer…
Meat inspectors? Really? That is just BEGGING for some truly tasteless comments.
And I’m looking into Twitterfeeds right now. Better get cracking before I get reported for abusing twitter by announcing each and every post.
Hmm…could it be that I was the a-hole who stole my own name? Very possible. How did you know my MO?
Well I did have a whole bunch of firemen in my apartment at about 5am one morning – thanks to the fact that the apartment above mine was on fire. But they were fully dressed for the Irish winter that was upon us and not exactly the firemen of your dreams let me just say. But it made for an interesting morning
I will try and track you down on Twitter which I am still completely hopeless with and will never master!
Thanks for finding me on twitter, Jane! Firemen at 5am, eh? There’s a good story there somewhere.
I want to move to your town because the only shiny firefighters where I live frighten me. I will them to keep their shirts on, trim their handlebar moustaches, and politely keep their hoses to themselves.
I love your willingness to give up their clothes for the sake of saving time. A woman with the right priorities.
I think they should just go ahead and lose the shirts permanently…if they get cold I bet we can figure something out.
Love “skinny-Jeans-Eyeliner dude!”