Bat Meat & Succulents

Happy weekend, friends.

I’ve been “off the grid” for a while.

Which could mean one of several things:

  1. I’ve been living in a camper van in the middle of the Arizona desert, subsisting off grilled bat meat and water found in succulents.
  2. I’ve been courted by Vanity Fair, who views me as the next Graydon Carter.
  3. I’ve been courted by the New York City Ballet, who views me as the next plus-plus-size Anna Pavlova.
  4. I’ve endured a week filled with doctor’s appointments, dental appointments, preschool dinners, and family dinners.

But shockingly enough, despite that fact that I update this blog only when the rings of Saturn turn fluorescent pink, I’ve won my very first blog award!

You stick around I’ll make it worth your while

Got numbers beyond what you can dial

Maybe it’s because I’m so versatile

That’s right.

Apparently, I’ve won the Versatile Blogger Award.

I am the Mary Lou Retton of blogging.

Watch as I do grammatical splits on the beam!  Check out my back flips and a parody!  Oggle my round-off back satire!

Who needs their virtual menstrual cycle when they’ve won the Versatile Blogger’s Award!

Who, you ask, would bestow such an honor upon me?  Her name is Andrea.  Her blog is Confessions of a Conflicted Mean Girl.  And if the title of that blog didn’t just knock your socks off, you’re probably Communist.  She is fabulous and hilarious and Cupid struck when I read her post “Why Did I Get Married?” So thanks, Andrea, for validating my blog and inflating my ego.

In a ritual akin to rushing a sorority, I must admit 10 things I like:

  1. Succulents
  2. Bat meat
  3. Vanity Fair
  4. The New York City Ballet
  5. Karaoke
  6. Drunk karaoke
  7. Sleep
  8. Having meals prepared for me
  9. Drinking wine out of gold chalices
  10. A world where I don’t have to shave

And now!  I must pass the baton to ten other talented bloggers!

These are people who are currently in heavy rotation on my blog-pod and while some of them might be too big and important to accept awards, I really could care less and ask that they place this precious metal object on the mantle of their hearts.

And there you have it.  Ten awesomely versatile ladies.  I love reading their blogs each and every day.

Or at least on the days when I’m not “off the grid.”

24 Responses to Bat Meat & Succulents
  1. alyson : Common Sense, Dancing
    October 9, 2010 | 3:29 pm

    How could there be no comments on this post??

    CONGRATULATIONS! I tremendously enjoy your round off back satire, as well as your other tricks. Well done, you.

    And wow….to pass the baton hardware off to me? Thanks a million. I’m humbled and honored.

    Will now have to go work on my yurchenko (vault is really my thing, I think) so as not to sully the award….

  2. Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
    October 9, 2010 | 4:47 pm

    You are a versatile blogger. I doubt my own versatility but I accept this award with humility. I’d like to thank my agent…and God…and my surgeon.

  3. Brenda
    October 9, 2010 | 4:47 pm

    Congratulations!! And now? I have new blogs to stalk.. hee hee!

  4. Alexandra
    October 9, 2010 | 6:01 pm

    What happened to my comment? I can’t believe it??

    Anyway, I did RT, why??

    B/C these bloggers are all that and more.

    Funny, intelligent women. Each one. And I’m lucky enough to follow them.

    And you know what else, Chalupa? Who ever gets tired of reading blogs by funny, intelligent women?

    That’s why I’m here every time you post.

    You, are the cream at the top, honey chile baby girl…one funny lady.

    If anyone doesn’t know ALL these women, do yourself a favor and click over…they deliver what Chalupa promised you.

    I love each one.

    Nicely done, chalupa…I have to prepare a post, too, but…like 93% of things in my life, I’m a day late and a dollar short. xo

  5. gigi
    October 9, 2010 | 6:08 pm

    See what happens when I run a freaking challenge? You go and get your site redesigned and I’m the last to know!

    It looks awesome. congrats on your award!

    I already read sooo many of your honorees…they are all great, I agree! Will have to go check out the others when I’m back to having enough time to actually read other people’s blogs and not be all self-absorbed in my bloggy tower.

  6. Average Girl
    October 9, 2010 | 7:17 pm

    Thank you, Chalupa! You are all kinds of rocking lovely. And, um, thanks for putting up the link so even more people can read about my flashing cans. Feeling really secure about that.

    Now, where is this shaveless world?

  7. Sheena
    October 9, 2010 | 7:35 pm

    You deserve this award. The tears in my eyes are laughter induced everytime I read you.

  8. Poppy
    October 9, 2010 | 7:46 pm

    Listen America’s Sweetheart (I can only picture Mary Lou in those 84′ Mcdonalds commericals saying double double cheese cheese burger burger please) I’m pleased about your award, truly I’m a fan. However, I’m holding you personally responsible for my inability to rent West Side Story in a timely manner from Netflix.

    Also, there are three bloggers listed that I’m not familiar with which means, I’ll now have to check them out and won’t have time to feed my children until Tuesday.

  9. tulpen
    October 10, 2010 | 12:12 am

    Yay to the award recipients.

    I gave up shaving for a year or so, yup, everything.

    Then I got a date and bought a razor.

  10. Booyah's Momma
    October 10, 2010 | 12:46 am

    I’m going to take a shot in the dark and presume you were kidding about the bat meat. Or weren’t you?

    Either way, this might be one of the funniest award acceptance posts I’ve read. Nicely done, Mary Lou.

  11. Sherri
    October 10, 2010 | 5:24 pm

    Being “off-grid” has it’s benefits…at least until someone comes knocking on the door, wondering why you haven’t paid your bills or taken the kids to school.

    Awesome bevy of ladies you have chosen there! Have visited all but three, so I will have to check them out. But I’m a bit confused; is there actually a kind of karaoke that ISN’T done while drunk? I may have missed that memo.

    Nice dismount, Mary Lou…and congrats on your award my dear! Well deserved….it’s never a dull moment over here. You seem to have the ability to cause me to over-use elipses to a great extent.

  12. MamaOnDaGo
    October 11, 2010 | 2:10 am

    New look and an award! Busy, busy, busy! I have to check out the blogs you’ve passed the award to. Congrats!

  13. Kelly
    October 11, 2010 | 8:45 am

    Thanks so much, Chalupa! Such a cool name . . . Chalupa. I like to say it AND it makes me hungry. CHA-LU-PA. CHA-LU-PA. Ok, thinking about a name change now.

  14. KLZ
    October 11, 2010 | 12:44 pm

    That fanilow crap gets me laughing every time!

    Congrats funny, versatile lady!

  15. mommakiss
    October 11, 2010 | 10:27 pm

    can i come back in the morning when i’m not druink?
    please and than ks.
    a lot.

  16. mommakiss
    October 11, 2010 | 10:27 pm

    wait
    i’ve wanted to ask. does your kid stick his tongue out when riding a bike? like that kid in your heeder?

    if so, he’s JUST like me. and my 2 kids.
    if not, false advertising.

  17. mommakiss
    October 11, 2010 | 10:31 pm

    “Who needs their virtual menstrual cycle when they’ve won the Versatile Blogger’s Award!”
    not me
    not at all.

  18. Pop
    October 12, 2010 | 10:26 am

    Anyone who can subsist off grilled bat meat and water found in succulents should be considered a versatile blogger.

    By the way, I totally thought your 1. would read: I’ve been living in a camper van down by the river.

  19. Wendi
    October 12, 2010 | 6:22 pm

    I’ve been waiting to formally accept this award until my 5-day aloe juice fast is over & I can once again fit into my size 5T Versace dress….

    THANK YOU!

  20. Wendi
    October 12, 2010 | 6:23 pm

    Wait, what just happened to my comment?

    I’ve been waiting to accept this award until I’m done with my 5-day aloe juice fast so I can once again fit into my size 5T Versace dress….

    Thank you!

  21. Tracie
    October 12, 2010 | 6:28 pm

    Such great bloggers…just like you!

    Congrats on the award.

    Hopefully it will keep you from having to eat bat meat.

  22. Tiffany
    October 12, 2010 | 9:52 pm

    i love you, man.

  23. annabelle
    October 27, 2010 | 5:45 pm

    Well shit. I am terrified to click on any of those. Something tells me Ill get sucked hopelessly deeper into the blogoshpere. I trust your taste, as I have been laughing out loud with every post. I may never forgive you.

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