Happy weekend, friends.
I’ve been “off the grid” for a while.
Which could mean one of several things:
- I’ve been living in a camper van in the middle of the Arizona desert, subsisting off grilled bat meat and water found in succulents.
- I’ve been courted by Vanity Fair, who views me as the next Graydon Carter.
- I’ve been courted by the New York City Ballet, who views me as the next plus-plus-size Anna Pavlova.
- I’ve endured a week filled with doctor’s appointments, dental appointments, preschool dinners, and family dinners.
But shockingly enough, despite that fact that I update this blog only when the rings of Saturn turn fluorescent pink, I’ve won my very first blog award!
Apparently, I’ve won the Versatile Blogger Award.
I am the Mary Lou Retton of blogging.
Watch as I do grammatical splits on the beam! Check out my back flips and a parody! Oggle my round-off back satire!
Who needs their virtual menstrual cycle when they’ve won the Versatile Blogger’s Award!
Who, you ask, would bestow such an honor upon me? Her name is Andrea. Her blog is Confessions of a Conflicted Mean Girl. And if the title of that blog didn’t just knock your socks off, you’re probably Communist. She is fabulous and hilarious and Cupid struck when I read her post “Why Did I Get Married?” So thanks, Andrea, for validating my blog and inflating my ego.
In a ritual akin to rushing a sorority, I must admit 10 things I like:
- Bat meat
- Vanity Fair
- The New York City Ballet
- Drunk karaoke
- Having meals prepared for me
- Drinking wine out of gold chalices
- A world where I don’t have to shave
And now! I must pass the baton to ten other talented bloggers!
These are people who are currently in heavy rotation on my blog-pod and while some of them might be too big and important to accept awards, I really could care less and ask that they place this precious metal object on the mantle of their hearts.
- On The Verge: My blogging soul-sister. The only person who makes a trip to the OB hilarious.
- The Highly Uninteresting Misadventures of Average Girl: Totally interesting and un-average in every way. Did I mention she unknowingly flashed her garbage man?
- I’m Gonna Kill Him: Anyone who refers to pregnant self as “Marlon Brando: The Obese Years” is my friend.
- The Great Mama Experiment: Love this lady. But loved her more when she took an imaginary trip to Vegas and left her husband with THE HANDBOOK.
- N8RLVR: A new discovery. She had me at “cave of a thousand wonders.”
- Kelley’s Break Room: Dude, grab a sodi pop and a snickers and settle in for a Real Woman of Cheese Nuts.
- Common Sense, Dancing: I’m a sucker for tap shoes and anything with a post entitled “Me and My Spanx Went Out The Other Night.”
- Wendi Aarons: She’s pretty bad-ass. Probably too bad-ass for an award, but she’ll just have to deal. Fall in deep smitt with Memories of a Fanilow.
- MommaKiss: A dash of piss, a dash of vinegar and voila! My Fart Party BFF.
- Ann’s Rants: Most definitely too cool for an award, but I have a sneaky suspicion that there’s a Middle-School Columnist! who would be pretty psyched.
And there you have it. Ten awesomely versatile ladies. I love reading their blogs each and every day.
Or at least on the days when I’m not “off the grid.”