Which is when the stalking officially began.
It started off so innocently…
A series of desperate comments -
Forty daily click-throughs from my site to hers -
And then things got…how shall we say?…complicated.
On the advice of Yuliya from She Suggests, I pretended to be both Russian and Jewish.
On the advice of Alexandra from Good Day, Regular People, I invented an elaborate story of immigration.
I started commenting under the name “The Flying Chalinka.”
I bought Marinka an annual subscription to US Weekly – but under the “Stars: They’re Just Like Us!” section, I cut and pasted her avatar over everyone’s face. She looked so dang cute putting sunscreen on Kingston.
But I think what really got her attention was when I paid Brad Womack from “The Bachelor” an undisclosed sum of money to clean her bathrooms shirtless and then take her rappelling off the Flatiron Building at dusk. (You’re welcome, my friend.)
These tactics worked surprisingly well for me – and I’m confident they’ll work for you too!
In the meantime, please visit me HERE at Motherhood In NYC where I’m honored to be conducting a financial education seminar.
PS – Marinka? The upstairs neighbor cooking fish the other night? Don’t be scared. That was me. I’m sorry.
PPS – Try Febreeze.