Unpacking onesies two-by-two -
Expanding from 1 to 2-Live-Crew
Where those booties at? Where those booties at?
Getcho ass off the couch and find the co-sleeper, yo!
Back is best! (Baby got) Back is best, bro.
(That’s what she said. The pediatrician, fo sho.)
So outta my way I got the organizing itch, outta my way
IT’S CALLED MOTHERFUCKING NESTING, BITCH!
Yeah, Swaddlemaster Flash is here today
With Double-A, Triple-A batt-er-ays, yo truck, yo train,
Yo power tools – where you at? Where you at?
Where you at, damn fools? I’m filing, filing taxes, receipts,
I’m The Labelmaker yo, don’t accept no defeat.
Where you goin’ wid dat bill? Dat bank statement?
Hey you, touch that shredder getcho face in da pavement!
So outta my way I got the organizing itch, outta my way
IT’S CALLED MOTHERFUCKING NESTING, BITCH!
I’m the Sorter, the Alphabetizer, the Systematizer -
That spice rack be perpetratin’? Yo, mango chutney,
I’ll kick your buttney, a right-hook blow to oregano -
You still sittin’ on the couch? Install the Peg Perego!
(LATCH – it’s floetic! CHP approved, It’s floetic!)
While I be foldin’ ‘n foldin’ this origami mobile
Tokyo skyline over crib yeah baby be global.
So outta my way I got the organizing itch, outta my way
IT’S CALLED MOTHERFUCKING NESTING, BITCH!
Wash the layette – ALL FREE & CLEAR!
Building castles outta bottles – milk not beer!
Dr. Brown’s, Bornfree, Playtex, Medela,
Antibodies, proteins, brain growth STELLA!
Thermometers, burp cloths, let’s re-grout tile!
Get on yo knees, fool, do it for the child.
Shit, it’s September? Wipe off that grime,
Plaster that smile, it’s holiday photo time!
So outta my way I got the organizing itch, outta my way
IT’S CALLED MOTHERFUCKING NESTING, BITCH!
Hahahaha!!! You legit, shiiiiiiiii… You be knowin’ how to rap, girlfriend!! Love it! Speaking of rapping, I tweeted a little with Sir Mix-A-Lot today. Hahaha!!
Fa shizzle! Dat’s the bomb, yo! Word to YOU, Mutha!
OK.
I think McSweeney’s is ready now.
That was WONDERFUL.
Although I’m not particularly into rap music I can totally dig this! Word!
You really ARE white aren’tcha?
BRILLIANT.
“While I be foldin’ ‘n foldin’ this origami mobile -
Tokyo skyline over crib yeah baby be global.”
Still laughing. You hilarious, sis!
OH.M.GAH. You are so hilarious. The mango chutney-buttney rhyme was my personal fave. When can I nominate this one for Voice of the Year??
oh God to hear Mother of the Chalupa rap this in front of thousands! I might have to fly to New York just for that.
You are the coolest sh*t EVAH!
Just another reason I get giddy when your posts get to my inbox. Love every second of this!!!
True dat.
Word.
Listen Milli Vanilli, this is begging to be performed. No lip syncing.
I love this so much.
Where were you when I was having baby #2? I rocked the nesting the first time around…fell flat on my face with failure the second time.
And now, I am un-nesting! Throw it out! Give it away!
You crack me up…as always.
Yo Chalupa — word out on the street, yo, Geto Boys say you stole their rap. Watch your back, sistah. You don’t want them comin’ to get jiggy wid yo ass!
That’s just fuckin genius, Yo!
You’re a hip hop star in Finland, aren’t you? Just admit it.
Funny stuff, yo.
That is some badass motherfucking nesting, yo.
Hardcore.
this is the funniest funniest little story you have written. you nailed it cold.
You a motherfucking genius is what.
Word.
You are killing me. Freaking hilarious.
Motherf*cking brilliant.
I’m in love with you.
Hilarious!
I think I went to high school with Swaddlemaster Flash…
He’s got that diamond grill after too much sucking on the pacifier, right?
Yeah. Tell him I say Hey.
You are the coolest, mot hip mom EVA.
For Realz, Yo.
I want to live in your head one day…can we make that happen rap master?
So apparently you look all pink and glittery in real life? (huge grin).
WHAT a combination!
LOL. Seriously…how do you come up with this crap? You are freaking awesome!
Sweet jesus, will you come kick my buttney?
Could use some cleaning up in here.
OHmygoodness, now I have to learn that song. If you put it on a cassette tape, I could rewind it and listen again and again, just like I did in middle school to “Gin and Juice.” (high school? Hmm). Thanks, …wow. Thanks.
hahaha I love this!
MOTHERFUCKING NESTING, BITCH!…I love it…I was there all last week!
LOL!!
LOL! Nothing like nesting with “swagga”!