You are one-quarter Finnish and it's time TO OWN IT. You might not eat pickled herring on rye for breakfast every morning, but goddamn it, you have a healthy respect for the umlaut, those little dots above the vowel in your last name that stand for KICK and ASS. Your skin isn't pasty. White is the new ...
Author Archives:
Sheep’s Clothes
In the year of our savior Reggio Emilia 2012, there did a monster reign. He walked amongst them unnoticed at times. Peaceful. Quiet. As with Play-Doh. And the Trains of Thomas. And Maresol, that fair teacher of Espanol who taketh no shit. "Things are as they should be," they said, at the Time Known As Drop-Off. And then ...
‘Stache-Tastic!
I am. The Moustache. You thought I was gone - like that time after the War of 1812. And that time after Studio 64. And that time after Disco. But for once your husband is right. The Fuzzy Facial Caterpillar is renaissancing. Upper-Lip Astroturf has never been so sexy as it is now. Your grandmother knows this. The firemen ...
And The Winner Is…
The blogosphere is an amazing place. This person abandoned her evening of Chardonnay to attend one of Keija's Austin readings for THE RUINS OF US. This lovely lady helped me set up a virtual bookstore on my sidebar - and then ordered a book just for the hell ...
The Ruins Of Us
This is the week. The week my sister's book, THE RUINS OF US, goes on sale. Keija once equated writing and publishing a novel to giving birth and being a mother - an analogy I detested at the time, being pregnant and ...
Advice To A Young Comedian Performing Stand-Up At the United Nations
1. Make sure you perform after the General Assembly has their two-drink minimum, but before they reach drink six. Hugo Chavez will start heckling you. 2. Always open with an Angelina Jolie joke. Her kids call her the High Commissioner For Refugees. Flood victims cling to her lips for safety. Something about her boobs. Boob jokes ...
To Peter the Police Officer: A Letter
Dear Peter, First, might I commend you on your shiny motorcycle? And no, you don't look at all like that guy who played the policeman on "The Hangover." Only remotely. By about 93%. When you carry a taser. Now. I think we can agree that "rear-ended" is perhaps too strong a description of what occurred and should only ...
-
-
Click To Order "The Ruins Of Us"
-
-
-
-
Jen @ Blue Yonder Design 
