Somewhere after the Palaeozoic Era, but well before the Zumba Era, is the iPodian Era. An era of rock. And quite a bit of pop. Some jazz. A little electronica. A wide variety of substrata really. An era of strange and outrageous creatures. Especially those of the 1980's - the Permian Period, if you will - whose coifs, ...
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A Conversation With The Don
You. Yeah, you with the pained look in the family photo. Bring your sippy cup over. Let's sit and watch the garbage truck - did I ever mention I own five of 'em? Waste management. It's a good business. So. I heard your mother just had a baby - a masculine child, I hope? Bene. Just so you know. ...
Sleep Train
SLEEP TRAIN: A. (noun) Cat Stevens' monumental, chart-topping plea for world sleep - Cause out on the edge of darkness There rides a sleep train (clap clap clap!) Oh sleep train take this country, Come take me home again! B. (noun) An album of lullabies from the band "Train," including: * Drops ...
My Tired So Tired
Highlights from "The Macy's Restroom Show" as performed by Haggard Mother With Children. _________________ Welcome back, Men's Wear Sales Associate, I'm still here. A word to the wise, don't go in the handicap stall. Ladies, you can't beat a dead horse, am I right? Unless that dead horse is named "mom" and then suddenly it rears its ugly head ...
The Anti-Self-Absorption
I was always one to indulge in the malaise of youth. I can't get out of bed. I hate Sundays. Why am I in this dressing room? Why am I trying on plaid shorts? Why is it winter? Why does no one ever call me? Why is everyone calling me? I can't pick up the phone. ...
How To Swaddle
THE MAKI SWADDLE Prepare to make a "maki" or "roll." Specifically, a spirited tuna roll. First, feel the nori sheet. Spread it out. Time to get busy with the rice. Keep your hands wet when working with rice. Thank you, little tuna. Thank you for getting my hands wet. And my shirt. And my pants. Today you are making ...
This Week From The Finnish Heritage Center
You are one-quarter Finnish and it's time TO OWN IT. You might not eat pickled herring on rye for breakfast every morning, but goddamn it, you have a healthy respect for the umlaut, those little dots above the vowel in your last name that stand for KICK and ASS. Your skin isn't pasty. White is the new ...
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Click To Order "The Ruins Of Us"
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Jen @ Blue Yonder Design 
